Helping Where You Can

I don't know if it's part of getting older, or part of life, or just me in general. But I find myself lately starting to feel guilty for the things I have. I'm not rolling in the money by any means, but I make enough money that I can support myself. Some months I can put money into savings, and other months I have to dip into savings. I'm not living paycheck to paycheck, but I also don't have a ton of extra cash lying around to spend frivolously.

But every time I see a homeless person I feel guilty. Guilty that I have so much and they have nothing. Guilty that I don't have an endless supply of funds that I can use to help them. So I drive on past, wishing and feeling guilty that I can't do more.

I don't claim to be a philanthropist, or an overly kind and giving person. I have my selfishness, and my own desires and goals in life. I'm human. I'd love to have a million dollars so I didn't have to work and could travel the world.

I'm pretty human.

But every day I leave work, I stop at a particular light. And every day there is a homeless person with a sign asking for help. Some look more ragged than others, but either way they are asking for help. Yes I know many are scammers, but I just assume this is someone down on their luck and in need.

How did they get to this point? How am I so lucky that I have what I have? And why do I feel guilty that it's not me?

Anyway, there is a point to my ramblings. At the end of the day I don't have money to give them.

I decided that I would try to give whatever I had that was leftover from my lunch. I always bring a ton of fruit with me to eat at work, and many days I just don't get around to eating it. So I may have a leftover apple, or orange, or plum, things like that.

One day the woman at the light was a very skinny woman with a sign that said she'd just gotten out of an abusive relationship and was in need of anything to help. I've been in an abusive relationship. How is it her getting out landed her on the street, and my getting out didn't? My heart went extra out to her because I can relate to some of whatever it is she's been through. I didn't have cash - all I had was an orange.

So I rolled down my window and apologized that was all I had to give. She thanked me profusely, saying that the orange would help stress, which depletes the body of nutrients. There was a line of cars behind me, but as soon as I gave her that orange she walked back to her few belongings, sat down and immediately ripped into that orange. She really was hungry.

I decided that if ever I see a beggar on the road, and I have some extra fruit/ snacks, then that's what I can get. It isn't much, and it doesn't seem like enough. But maybe it'll be temporary lift for them.