Running the Austin Marathon - Overcoming Myself

Over President's Day weekend last month was the Austin marathon. I signed up last fall to run it, and it came before I knew it.

After my attempted marathon in South Africa, my confidence with running was completely gone. Granted, I know that South Africa had a host of mitigating circumstances that made that marathon more than I could accomplish. But I'm not used to failing at my goals. As a result, all I could see out of that experience was failure. And it stung.

A lot.

Needless to say, I wondered for a long time if I should quit running altogether. It's so hard for me, and I struggle with it anyway. So, I took a break from running for a month and did boxing. It was the change and break I needed. But after about a month, my stubborn nature kicked in and I realized I wasn't ready to give up running quite yet.

I signed up for the Austin marathon as a tester marathon - could I still do it? And since I didn't have to travel anywhere to run this one, it was fairly convenient. I honestly wasn't sure how it would go. I never feel quite prepared for a marathon, always feeling like I could have done more.

The weeks leading up to the marathon everyone at work was out with the flu. I washed my hands constantly and avoided contact with anyone, just to make sure I didn't catch the flu before the race. That's the last thing I needed, and if I didn't do this marathon, that would really kill my confidence even more. I needed this.

The day before the marathon I felt good. So far no sickness, and I spent the day at home, relaxing, and trying to take it easy and prepare for the marathon the following day. That evening, I started coughing. It was heavy, deep coughing. Great. This was not what I needed.

But I went to bed and got up early the next day. I was still coughing, and for a moment I thought about not doing the marathon. I quickly brushed that fleeting thought aside and got ready.

I was nervous. So nervous. Jumping out of my skin, swarm of butterflies in my stomach nervous. I had a lot riding on this marathon emotionally, and I was so worried about how it would go.

The weather was cool, and a bit drizzly. I got there early and hung around until the race started, desperately trying not to panic. Soon enough the race began and I was off. The first six miles went really well for me. I felt good, I had a nice steady pace and I was doing well.  Then I hit mile 8 and realized I still had a long way to go. Pretty soon the terrain got very steep and hilly, something I was not expecting at all. But I kept pushing myself.

More hills came. This is Austin. Where did these hills come from? Did they purposely design the course to find as many hills, and the steepest ones possible? We're running all over the place, so while I know I'm in Austin, I have no idea where I actually am.

I get to the point in the course where the half marathoners turn to the right, and the full marathoner's turn to the left. In that moment I really wished I'd signed up for the half. I'd be done by now. But no, I still have another 13 miles ahead of me. Ugh. Why do I do this to myself.? What was I thinking?

I finished the first half in about 2 1/2 hours. That's a really good pace for me. But then I started feeling . . . . off. I felt like my body wanted to cough, but I was panting from running, and was afraid if I started coughing I wouldn't stop. Then I wouldn't be able to catch my breath and I'd have to quite the race.

No. There was no way I could handle not finishing another marathon. So I walked for a bit. As I walked, I felt worse and worse. My stomach didn't feel right, I was much more tired than I should have been, and I couldn't take a deep breath for fear of the coughing fit. I pushed on, walking/ running up to mile 19. More hills than I've ever seen in Austin continued on. Whoever designed this course is a big jerk in my opinion.

After mile 19, running just wasn't possible. My body wouldn't go, I couldn't catch my breath, I couldn't even take a deep breath, so I stuck to walking. It was strange, I thought I was in better shape than this. That was a bit discouraging. But I kept going.

At mile 24 the course hit the downtown area, so traffic and people were everywhere cheering us on. While I appreciated their motivation comments of "Great job! You're almost there!" I wanted to tell them to shut up.

2 miles is an eternity when you've already done 24 miles. Still a long way to go to the end. But I was nice. I smiled and nodded, cursing them in my head but kept my feet moving forward. I was ready to be done with this whole thing. And more than anything I wanted to sit down.

At last I got to the sign where it says there's 0.5 miles left. Yay! I turn the corner and there's a giant hill I have to go up. Seriously, please fire the guy who designed this course. I know it was a man who did this. I hate him, whoever he is.

I get to the finish line, and for the first time in any marathon, I hear them call my name as I cross the finish line. That was pretty cool. And finally I'm done. I've finished a marathon for the first time in over 2 years. It took me about 6 hours, which is much longer than I thought it would take me. That's slightly disappointing, but then I did mostly walk the last 10 miles of the marathon.

I can't wait to sit down. Seriously, all I want to do is sit down. My friend Sherrie is there at the finish line cheering me on, and as soon as I come out of the cattle shoot barriers I sit on the curb and chat with her. I'm so tired of moving.

While I feel elated I've finished, I don't feel great. My stomach is upset and off, I have no appetite, and I should be starving right not. I'm crazy tired, my head is pounding, and the thought of food is revolting. What's wrong with me?

I head home and force myself to eat a banana and half a peanut butter sandwich. It doesn't sit well in my stomach and I feel worse. After a long shower, and a good nap, I meet up with a friend for dinner. I'm walking extremely slow - I'm so stiff and sore, and I'm coughing a lot more now.

3 days later I go to the doctor because I feel terrible. Cough, sore throat, sneezing, etc. I figure it's just a bad cold. Nope. I have the flu. I apparently caught it Saturday night. So all that feeling off, and super tired, and not right during the marathon - that was because I had the flu. I ran a marathon on the flu. This is the second time that's happened.

I suddenly feel much better about it taking me 6 hours to finish this marathon. And I feel a bit like superwoman. My confidence is back. While running is and will always be a struggle, I am capable of still doing marathons. I can do them on the flu. It was definitely the emotional boost I needed. I'm so glad it's over.

Now it's time to train for the next one. And it's going to be a big one. An overseas one. And it'll be amazing.