Breathe In

Life is always a gamble. Even if you follow down the right path, obstacles come in your way that often force you to take an unexpected turn. Or perhaps you did expect it, but were hoping you were wrong. Why is it that usually the RIGHT decision is rarely the easy one? Change is not always easy, but ironically it is the one constant thing you can expect from life. Especially mine.

2012 has been a long road to ride and a very hard year for me personally. Despite how hard it's been I've discovered more about myself than at any other time in my life. For that I am grateful, though finding that gratitude has at times not been easy.

As the new year approaches I feel more and more ready for the new and unexpected chapter in my life. It's been a very long and difficult decision for me to make, full of prayer and tears, but the hard choice had to be made. Ramon and I are separating. If all goes smooth, things will be finalized come February and we'll be officially divorced. Perhaps this is a surprise to some and not to others. It goes against my nature to broadcast such a personal turn in my life, but it has become a release for me. For the first time in a long time I feel at peace - like I've been holding my breath and can finally breathe again.

I have no regrets and know without a doubt the decisions I've made in my life have been the right choices for me. I felt very strongly to marry him and I know feel very strongly to leave. It's contradictory and confusing, but that doesn't make it true. The thought of going back to the single life is strange and I'm sure whenever my new set of first dates happen it will be even stranger. But I don't regret my decision. To get me through I have a new house full of never ending projects, great friends to keep me company, and kitty cats to give me plenty of affection. Plus my baking has never been at such quality.

This is a one time mention mainly to let friends know what's happening in my life. I don't feel sad or distraught, which is probably a big sign that this is the right path. I'm doing great and find a world of doors opening up to me in a hundred different directions all full of possibilities. Hopefully the hardest part of all this has past and I can move on with my future. Of course I still hope that someday another amazing man will come into my life and sweep me off my feet. If he has a charming accent I won't mind that either. Plus, being in love can be great. Until that time comes I know there are many great adventures headed my way, along with a whole lot of fun and happiness.